Choosing a Therapist
If you are suffering from anxiety and decide you need help, how do you choose what therapy is right for you and what person, what therapist, is right for you?
The hardest step is making the decision that you need help Many of us struggle with accepting that we need help. It’s very easy, when you’re suffering from anxiety, to feel that it’s your fault in some way, to look at everyone around you, both in person and online, and it appears as if they’re all coping perfectly well. So you feel that there must be something wrong with you because you’re not coping. It can be really hard getting through all those doubts and fears to the point where you decide that it’s time to get help and, unfortunately, most people leave it to the point where they absolutely can’t cope anymore. It would be so much more comfortable if they looked for help earlier. It doesn’t mean we can’t deal with it if they’ve reached rock bottom, it doesn’t mean that it necessarily takes any longer to deal with, but it does mean that they have had weeks, months, years of suffering that they need not have had if they’d sought help earlier.
First Step in Selecting Your Therapist
So number one is accepting you need help as soon as you have some awareness that things aren’t right. Then you have the issue of who do I go to, what sort of therapist do I need? Recommendation is one of the best solutions but, even in these more enlightened times, it can be hard to talk to your friends or family about your struggles with anxiety. You may well have a friend who had a similar problem and who has seen somebody that they were very happy with but, if you can’t talk to them (and they haven’t shared with you), then you’ll never hear about the wonderful person who helped them. Referral or recommendation is always the best and definitely when making this significant decision.
If referral is not an option, then I would start with looking around at the therapies that are available to you. Psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, counselling, coaching, mindfulness. There are lots of options, which can be overwhelming but do some research if you possibly can and go with your gut feel. It can be hard if you’re suffering from anxiety, but follow your instincts, what feels right for you, what do you think will help you most.
When You’ve Chose a Therapist
When you’ve chosen a therapy, it would be really good to talk to more than one therapist in that field. Not many people do that and choosing the wrong person for you can add to your anxiety and impact your belief that you can get better. Again, go with your instincts as it’s important for you to trust your therapist and feel comfortable them even when, at times, they may be challenging you.
Ask each therapist you talk to how they plan to help you, if they don’t tell you. Also make sure that you are able to explain exactly what’s going on with you. When I started doing hypnotherapy I phoned around a number of local hypnotherapists to see what the market was like. I had a real issue that I needed help with and in one case I said one sentence and got the response “I know exactly what’s wrong with you and when would you like to book in?” My response was to simply disconnect the call! Nowadays you’re more likely to connect online first but if you’re not offered a free consultation before you commit, then ask for one. How can you possibly choose unless you talk to somebody, are able to ask questions and decide whether what they’re saying in reply to your questions is right for you. Don’t forget that you are the client!
How Will The Therapist Help You?
I am very definitely at the other end of the spectrum, basically let’s have a chat so you can tell me what’s going on, I will tell you how I think I can help you, give you the chance to ask questions and it’s then your choice. If you decide yes, then you book your first session and I tell you that, at the end of that session, I will ask a genuinely open question “Do you think this is right for you? Do you think I’m the right person for you to work with?” If the answer is yes that’s wonderful, if the answer is no that’s the best answer for both of us.
To summarise, talk to anybody you’re prepared to talk to who may have had a similar experience and can refer somebody, If that’s not possible, do some research. I know it may be difficult and hard work but it’s important to research into the different sorts of therapies available and, if you need to, talk to several different types of therapists to get a view on what’s right for you. Certainly, when you’ve decided what therapy you want, talk to more than one person so that you can decide who is best for you. This is an important decision, so it is worth the effort. You wouldn’t buy a car or a house without research and viewing several, maybe many, options. Working with a therapist won’t be as expensive, but in my view it’s much more important, as it affects your long term mental, emotional and potentially physical health.
So make the decision that you need help (the hardest part) and then do the research both of the therapy and the therapist. If you have never considered hypnotherapy then I’m always happy to explain and answer questions so that you can see it it’s a possible option for you, even if you’re not necessarily looking to work with