Do you know if you are living with anxiety? I have done a series of blogs about the symptoms of anxiety, some of which are obvious and some of which are a bit more unexpected. I think for me, and I have felt this for a very long time, the overarching or overwhelming symptom is that anxiety just takes all of the joy out of your life.
If you’re suffering from anxiety and you’re suffering from it most days, most hours in most days or even every hour in every day, then there’s no space to enjoy yourself, Life just becomes a case of getting through each day, doing what has to be done, but with no joy, no fun, no happiness, no contentment even, none of the positive emotions, they’re all pushed out by the negative emotions.
Are Your Negative Thoughts Pushing Out Your Positive Ones?
The fear, the worry, the negative thoughts. All of your negative thoughts push out the positive thoughts and this can wear you down after a while. What tends to happen with a lot of people with anxiety is they don’t see any point in doing anything that’s meant to be enjoyable, that’s meant to be fun, so they just stop doing all of those things and of course that just makes things worse. The more they don’t do those things, the more they worry about doing them because they’ve now become unfamiliar and the thought of doing them makes them more anxious. Their unwillingness to do anything other than what has to be done can cause problems in relationships, problems with children, problems with friends. People think you’ve cut yourself off from the world and if you, as most of us do, have found it difficult to be open about your anxiety, then family and friends may think it’s something to do with them, they may think they’ve done something to upset you and you don’t want to see them anymore. They’re probably not aware that you’re the same with everybody, turning down every invitation, every suggestion from a family member to go and do something fun.
You Can’t Fake Having Fun.
If you’ve got children, you may of course force yourself for their sake to go out and do the things that they want to do but they’ll know you’re not enjoying it. We can’t really fake it, we can be as normal as possible, but we can’t fake having fun and just joining in with whatever’s going on. The children will notice, even if they’re very young, they pick up on the energy of what’s going on and so they may stop wanting to go out and do things, they may stop wanting to have play dates with friends because they know you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself, they may even start thinking what have I done wrong. You may feel that you can live without joy, you may even think that’s what everyone is doing and think I’ll just get on with life. But you can’t really live without joy and fun and happiness and contentment and why should you? Also you’re affecting the people around you and you’re taking away their joy and fun and happiness and why would you want to do that?
Is It Time To Take Action?
If this sounds like you, I would suggest that now is the time to take some action. It is obviously, absolutely up to you to decide what action you want to take, many people start by visiting their GP and that’s absolutely fine. In some instances you may get offered more than medication, although that is becoming rarer and rarer, but medication is fine, medication is a start, and it may be all that you need.
There are lots of different therapists, coaches and counsellors out there, many of whom will be working with anxiety. So if you can bear to admit that you need help with your anxiety, ask around. Get a referral from someone you trust as that is absolutely the best way to choose someone to help you. If you do not have anybody who can refer someone or if you are not happy admitting you need help then go online and look and look carefully. Often what happens when we finally make that decision to take some action, we want to do it quickly and can go with the first person we find. However, it’s important to take your time as you need to be confident that what that person is doing is going to help you and you need to be comfortable working with that person. Look at what they’ve got on social media, look at their websites, I would expect any therapist who was taking you on for one-to-one sessions to have a free phone chat with you so that you can both be sure you’re making the right decision.
If One to One is a Step too Far, Read on…
If going straight in with one-to-one sessions is a step too far at the moment then there are other options. I and other therapists will have a range of online offerings that can help you start to get some measure of joy back in your life, slowly, gradually, beginning to enjoy things once again, getting a taste of happiness and contentment. Take a look at the link to the Life Healing Hub in this website where there are a number of ways you can help yourself and maybe get the joy back or get to a point where you feel more comfortable working one-to-one.
If you are struggling with anxiety and the effect it is having on your life, then it is time to take some action. Look for someone who feels right to work with or look for online resources to help you. The most important thing and the most difficult thing is to make the decision that this has to STOP and it has to stop NOW. Start believing that you, your family and your friends all deserve to enjoy your lives, so you are going to have to do something about your anxiety to make that happen and then the next step is taking action and doing whatever is right for you to start to feel happier. I promise you that once you make that decision and take that first step, you will start to feel better.